Wanda 堂姐的抗癌心路歷程

Wanda是大伯的女兒, 也是塔克很貼心的乾女兒, 她跟Wendy是一對雙胞胎姐妹, 他們在我很小的時候隨當時政府的外交農耕計畫移民到多明尼加, 當時的移民生活很苦,不是我們想像中的富裕, 後來大伯一家又移民到美國佛洲. 漸漸地佛洲成為家族的海外基地. 櫻釵阿姑一家,峙岳一家以及老姐後來都在佛洲落地生根..本篇文章是Wanda堂姐的抗癌故事,塔克說她是一位超級黑美人,身材又火辣, 但不幸的是五年前她罹患乳癌, 這對一個女人來說是相當大的打擊, 但是Wanda阿姐也走過來了,大家給她鼓鼓掌啊. 非常了不起 , 我特地把這篇貼出來, 不想把她放在讀者回函裡, 希望大家都能看到為她鼓掌, 還有Wanda要當阿嬤囉. 大家給她恭喜吧.
(歡迎大家寫讀者回函給Wanda )

Dear Akae,

This is the best part of your article. Why? Because you have described the agony, the trust, the fear, and the love of one tough cancer survivor’s behavior; I want to commend you for writing such an intricate description of Halu’s cancer treatment and I would also like to share my own experience of breast cancer. I hope as a loyal reader, you don’t mind me writing a longer post this time.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago, I was in shock! Like Halu, I didn’t have anyone escorting me to the doctor’s office. When he announced that news, I was beyond devastation. Why me? How can it be me? Why did I do to deserve this? I must not pray enough to Buddha!!! This is must be my punishment for my mistakes, how can this be?

Like Halu, I thought about Jeffrey right away. What is he going to do without me? Mastectomy was scheduled right away, and I had to decide what to do quickly. The doctor needs to schedule a plastic surgeon if I choose to have reconstruction done on my breast. I contemplated on the choices I have because after all, I am a wife and even though my kids are grown up, I would need my breast to look pretty for my husband. (Especially my husband who is so Chinese), so I thought. Every night when I couldn’t sleep; I would stay up googling some pictures of breast cancer woman without breasts; hiding my fears of losing my breast, secretly hoping for the worst to happen to me. Like to die on the surgery table so that I wouldn’t have to face the image of not being a perfect woman to look at…...and Jeffrey would get the mal practice money from the procedure, he would be rich to care for Katie and Kevin ...….that was my plan.

My husband over heard a conversation I had with my doctor discussing the reconstruction procedure. Each time I would try to hold my tears, I didn't want to cry infront of my love ones. First time in my life I was stumbling to a humongous problem that I couldn’t repair. I felt lost and confused. Jeffrey quickly turned to me and said “Wanda, you need to love yourself first and live your life. Please do not think that you need to please me just because I am your husband, you will always be a very beautiful woman.” And with that statement, I was able to pick up where I had left off, and proceed with my decision. No reconstruction, no implant, no water balloon to insert after my mastectomy. What a relief! We have been married for 28 years and counting…to have my other ½ always loving me so dearly…. Like Taket had said once when he visited us in the US some 35 years ago, he said a couple is not about love; as we grow older, it is more like a companionship, a partner in life. I still remember his voice ringing behind my ears….

I didn’t have chemo or radiation for my cancer treatment. This cancer was so aggressive that the doctor had also scheduled a total hysterectomy 10 months after my mastectomy. I was on Tamoxifen for the past 5 years. Today, I couldn’t be happier in life. I am cancer free and I love life in general. I count on my blessings every day. I love to go travel with Jeffrey and I am going to be a grandma in less than 1 month..... life is good to me.

It is all about the attitude in one’s life, courage to live and move forward. Treat cancer as a hurdle in life, and usually with the advanced medicine today everything is curable. I do breast cancer walks, I do speeches on self examination of woman’s breast, and I crochet and make pink ribbons so that I can help other woman to fight with this disease. 2007 in October (breast cancer month) we were visiting Taipei 101, guess what I saw? I saw a young actress/singer promoting “Estee Larder Pink Ribbons” for women with breast cancer to raise money for an organization in Taiwan. At that moment, I had tears in my eyes, I had to walk away………..but my heart was so warm…..A Taiwanese young woman is doing a good deed.

To all reader, please keep in mind, even though any cancer treatment can be cruel and painful, the drive to live keeps cancer survivors going and going and going……..

Wanda